Goodbye 2010

This is my last post for the year.   It’s goodbye to a year and to a decade.

According to popular opinion, 2010 was not a great year.  Some even referred to it as the ‘bastard mother’ of 12 lousy months. And to an extent, I agree. On a global scale, I suppose this year has seen more downs (Haitian earthquake, Greek debt crisis) than ups (Chilean miners were freed).

However this pertains to the world at large. It is not my story of 2010.

My story starts on January 1^st.

On the first day of the year, I took an early morning stroll around central London.  I had come to celebrate the New Year with friends, and as infinitely as I love them, I am one of those people who needs time to recharge on my own. (I think they call us introverts?)

Besides, no one else had woken up, so it seemed only natural to take advantage of this precious ‘alone’ time.  I got dressed, put on my mittens and scarf, walked to the nearest Starbucks for a Toffee Nut Latte, and made my way to Piccadilly via Hyde Park hoping to catch the parade.  There was silence as I took steps on the graveled pathway in this big gorgeously green park, under a clear blue sky, in one of the most vibrant cities in the world. I felt so grateful for having a day like this-the sun was shining, it was freezing, I had coffee and I could do anything I wanted to. The chilled air made my eyes water into clear vision.

It felt as though I was seeing the world for the first time, you know?

I strongly believe how you spend the first day of the year reflects how the rest of the year will go. I also believe my iPod has prophetic abilities. Putting the two ideas together, I concluded that the first song I would hear that morning would reflect 2010.

As I approached Piccadilly Circus, I could hear muffled sound making its way through the thick of the crowd. I felt silly myself when I actually heard the song coming out of the speakers….

It was ‘God Only Knows’ by the Beach Boys. Fantastic. I grinned in the cold. I love this song.

And then it hit me. God only knows? What does that mean? Does it mean who knows what this year will bring?

Great, I said as I smiled to myself. Thanks.

Fast forward to year-end.  Looking back on my year, I see my death.

2010 was the year I died.

In February I suffered the worst depression of my life; I don’t remember how I got to that point, but I do remember falling. I fell beyond sadness, beyond shame, beyond guilt, beyond terror, beyond loneliness, and I just kept falling and falling into an endless abyss of nothingness. I would go to sleep thinking ‘this is what death feels like’. As a result, I wouldn’t sleep. I had insomnia for weeks. And when my exhaustion would get the better of me and I actually slept, I would wake up in the morning crying and not understanding why. Maintaining a calm appearance completely and utterly drained me, so even the smallest non-event could set off an angry nuclear explosion.  Seeing as I couldn’t find anything ‘wrong’ with my life, I ended up in therapy.

That was the best move I ever made.

Therapy is the BEST thing I have ever done. Hands down.

My exceptional, life-affirming, genius therapist introduced me to the madness of living. To be seen and valid and aware of myself. Of my life.

I spent years trying to stay out of the way; years being invisible, years seeking approval.  By the time I reached the age that I was supposed ‘to fly’, by the time I had done everything that was expected of me, everything I was supposed to do, more and more demands kept cropping up, more and more plans about how my life was supposed to go.  In my mind it was as though I was walking a narrow plank across a massive pit of boiling lava at a death-defying height which gave me vertigo. At the end of the path, I would reach safety and happiness; an end that kept moving further and further away; allegedly because I still had to ACHIEVE. I knew that if I fell into that pit, I would die. And that narrow plank was the only path I could see available to me.

I didn’t want to go down it, and I couldn’t turn back. I also couldn’t jump off because leaping into a volcano would kill me. Stepping off the plank became my death. So I stopped, curled into a ball, and waited for this life to end in some way other than drowning in a massive pit of fire. Depression was the result of my terror to even look off the plank, never mind jump off. I was plagued with thoughts of death, and even when times were good, I was haunted by the idea that once I started doing what I wanted in my life, I (or somebody close to me) would die. This constant, irrepressible terror took over my life. One false step, one wrong move became death. Moving forward on this path meant death. Falling off the path meant death. It got too much for me to handle alone. I used whatever energy I could muster to call out.

(help)

My therapist appeared, unafraid, in the middle of the plank, and sat next to me. She consoled me. She told me to take a deep breath and open my eyes. She showed me that the lava pit wasn’t really a lava pit, but rather a lush, green gorgeous valley full of rivers and waterfalls and exotic flowers and life (better than Hyde Park was that early morning). She showed me that the path was wider than the footsteps I was taking; that it wasn’t a path at all, but a diving board. That it wasn’t as high as I thought and in fact, if I really wanted to, I could easily dive into a crystal clear pool of water below me. And when I came out of the water, I would be on my own land. My land; the land that my mind had transformed into a hell-hole. One I had avoided for so long and could finally start exploring. And if I ever got scared again, she would be nearby ready to help me keep going.

In order to do this, to see all this beauty that lay before me, I had to meet myself first.

She helped me meet my real self on a very conscious level for the first time in my life.

I discovered my needs. First and foremost I discovered and accepted that I actually HAD needs and that I could not go on any longer ignoring them.  I discovered what they were: I need a supportive environment, I need respectful and authentic relationships, and most importantly, I need to be visible. To be seen for what I am, accepted for what I am, and loved for what I am. And in the cases where this criteria isn’t met, to merely step away rather than build myself into a prison around the person or situation.

The difference between terror and fear is that terror plants your feet into the ground, while fear makes you move. My therapist succeeded in converting my terror to live into fear to live. I become brave enough.

So I dived into the pool.

So I died.

Death’s not so bad. In fact, it has been wonderful.

Living brings you closer to death. Interestingly, like making love. At the point of total euphoria, when your body numbs, spasms, and you moan in pleasure, right before orgasmic release, you die. At that exact moment, you experience death; everything and nothingness. Paradoxically, it’s the most alive you will ever be.

I’m off the plank. I’ve dried myself from the water. I’ve explored the water’s edge and made sure I got to know the place I had landed in. In it, I have moving music, inspiring friends, human parents. I follow dreams, climb mountains, meet fascinating people. I live infinite lives, and every day brings a new one.

And it’s only the beginning. I cannot wait for the rest of my life.

So as I go back to the song, I listen to the lyrics:

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?
God only knows what I’d be without you

God only knows what I’d be without you. Perhaps I’m taking liberties with the interpretation of this song, because it is a love song. Yet I feel it is an ode to my true self. An ode co-written by me and my therapist about the importance of my self; survival is truly not enough. Being in love with yourself is vital to living a full life.

In truth, I originally thought that the most important lesson of my year was the discovery of how important relationships were to me. This is not entirely inaccurate, I have indeed reassessed my relationships with friends, family, men.  And I am better for it. Yet the biggest truth is the importance of the relationship I have with my self; to be in touch with it, to listen to it, to respect it.

So yes, 2010 was the year of my death.  With it came a priceless lesson:

I matter.

I will not be invisible. I will not tolerate invasion of my space or privacy.  I will not tolerate disrespect. I will not tolerate ignorance. I will not tolerate neglect. I will not tolerate silence. I will not tolerate threat.

Respect existence or expect resistance.

I matter. And if I find myself in a situation where, upon explanation, I don’t, I will leave. No exceptions.

Thank you 2010 for the life lesson.

As I circle the water’s edge, leaving some things behind and taking some with me, I prepare to go through the unfamiliar forest of rebirth.

2011, I look forward to our adventures together.

Dear readers, I wish you a thrilling New Year.

May you (too) be bold enough to recognize: you matter.

Fall in love with yourselves. Go nuts.

I’ll see you on the other side. *salute*

 

Joy to the World

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wishing you and your families a wonderfully festive day!

Kx

P.S. Click here if you’re a cat lover.

 

A Long Winter’s Nap

(a Christmas meditation via Crashingly Beautiful)

Some years, the holidays seem to bustle right past, and you’re hurled into the new year — flung onward by the gravity of time — before you know it. There are also years, and this is one, when darkness seems to pile up in drifts as the nights grow longer and the day goes down into its burrow earlier and earlier.

Even at its highest, the sun reclines low along the horizon — resting on its elbow, so to speak — and you can feel the coming of dusk as soon as the day slips past noon. This season, Christmas is the pivot of time, when the sun comes to its solstice and we come, too, to a place where our hearts can rest.

What should we feel today on this new morning?

That is the question Christmas always poses. But our feelings know no “should.” We feel what we feel, as one after another the Christmases go past. Over the years, it adds up to a medley of all our emotions, joy, gratitude, compassion, generosity, love, hospitality — and sometimes also loneliness, mistrust, miserliness and even despair.

This is the season for rejoicing at the hope of our own redemption, and yet rejoicing doesn’t always arrive on schedule, any more than hope or redemption do. The fact is that we make what we can of Christmas each year, and some years Christmas makes something entirely unexpected out of us.

Breakfast will come late this morning because we were up, most of us, late into the eve of this holiday, savoring how festive the darkness can be. And before breakfast is long over and the first toy has been broken, the first tears dried, dusk will be gathering outside again. That is the unfailing gift of this season — to comfort us with so much nightfall, to gather us together, and hold us close.

—New York Times Editorial Published: December 24, 2009. A version of this article also appeared in print on December 25, 2009, on page A30 of the New York edition.

 

The Year Kenny Loggins Ruined Christmas

Guys, ever heard of Hyperbole and a Half?

If not, I command you to immediately check out the blog post on Christmas.

If you’re not heavily amused, I’m not sure I can allow you to continue reading this blog.

Thanks

 

Putting Things Into Perspective

(via Fuck Yeah Existentialism)

If you imagine the 4,500-bilion-odd years of Earth’s history compressed into a normal earthly day, then life begins very early, about 4 A.M., with the rise of the first simple, single-celled organisms, but then advances no further for the next sixteen hours. Not until almost 8:30 in the evening, with the day five-sixths over, has Earth anything to show the universe but a restless skin of microbes. Then, finally, the first sea plants appear, followed twenty minutes later by the first jellyfish and the enigmatic Ediacaran fauna first seen by Reginald Sprigg in Australia. At 9:04 P.M. trilobites swim onto the scene, followed more or less immediately by the shapely creatures of the Burgess Shale. Just before 10 P.M. plants begin to pop up on the land. Soon after, with less than two hours left in the day, the first land creatures follow.

Thanks to ten minutes or so of balmy weather, by 10:24 the Earth is covered in the great carboniferous forests whose residues give us all our coal, and the first winged insects are evident. Dinosaurs plod onto the scene just before 11 P.M. and hold sway for about three-quarters of an hour. At twenty-one minutes to midnight they vanish and the age of mammals begins. Humans emerge one minute and seventeen seconds before midnight. The whole of our recorded history, on this scale, would be no more than a few seconds, a single human lifetime barely an instant. Throughout this greatly speeded-up day continents slide about and bang together at a clip that seems positively reckless. Mountains rise and melt away, ocean basins come and go, ice sheets advance and withdraw. And throughout the whole, about three times every minute, somewhere on the planet there is a flash-bulb pop of light marking the impact of a Manson-sized meteor or one even larger. It’s a wonder that anything at all can survive in such a pummeled and unsettled environment. In fact, not many things do for long.

-Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

 

 

Happiness Interview

(via Happiness Project)

Gretchen interviews Oliver Burkeman on his new book ‘HELP! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done‘.

I should mention….I love interviews.

One of my dreams is to be successful enough to be interviewed.  I don’t care if that makes me superficial. But until that day comes I am happy to merely be inspired.

Here are two parts of the interview that I loved. I happen to agree 1000% with both of these answers, particularly the second one; certain kinds of positive thinking remind me of a Smile or Die mentality.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Identify the problem.”)

I love the late Japanese psychotherapist Shoma Morita’s (Shoma Morita? Who is Shoma Morita?) advice to stop trying to fix yourself and start living instead:

“Give up on yourself. Begin taking action now, while being neurotic or imperfect, or a procrastinator, or unhealthy, or lazy, or any other label by which you inaccurately describe yourself. Go ahead and be the best imperfect person you can be and get started on those things you want to accomplish before you die.”

To some people this sounds depressing, but to me it’s the exact opposite: utterly freeing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that detracts a lot from their happiness?

Positive thinking. I’m certainly not an advocate of pessimism and negativity, but the fixation on achieving exactly the right frame of mind is usually a big distraction from doing what matters, and frequently hugely counterproductive. And don’t get me started on the notion that you can “attract” things just by thinking the right thoughts. All these efforts at thought control are the exact opposite of the wonderful Buddhist notion of becoming less attached to thoughts, of “grasping” them less and thus being grasped by them less.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

The Happiness Project

One of the most motivational books I read this year was The Happiness Project; it revolves around resolutions which lead to happiness.

Gretchen ‘had it all’ – good children, a good career, a good marriage; yet, like so many people today, she felt something was missing. [1]

One rainy afternoon on a city bus, she had an epiphany; she realized she wasn’t as happy as she could be. As a result, she spent a year trying to become happier by making resolutions which she categorized by theme-specifically 12, one for each month of the year. So each month she would tackle a new set of resolutions based on the theme.

You can see this in the way she sets out the chapters in her book. For example:

JANUARY: Boost Energy

Vitality

GO TO SLEEP EARLIER

EXERCISE BETTER

TOSS, RESTORE, ORGANIZE

TACKLE A NAGGING TASK

ACT MORE ENERGETIC

In each chapter she would explain why she had chosen these particular resolutions, and in turn describe how she fared, which ones she kept, which ones she scrapped.

By the end of the year I had learned to change my life by finding more happiness in it.

Having immersed herself in all forms of data relating to happiness, she based her resolutions on which aspects worked for her, by everyone from Oprah to the Dalai Lama, from classical philosophy to contemporary psychology. Her results are both insightful and entertaining.

She also keeps a witty blog where she writes about new discoveries, gives tips on happiness, provides weekly resolutions, and so forth.

For example, this week, she advised treating yourself like a toddler-something I cannot WAIT to try on friends.

I remember reading somewhere that writer Anne Lamott (Anne Lamott? Who’s Anne Lamott?) thinks about herself in the third person, to take better care of herself: “I’m sorry, Anne Lamott can’t accept that invitation to speak; she’s finishing a book so needs to keep her schedule clear.”

Similarly, I’m going to imagine how I’d view myself as a toddler. “Gretchen gets cranky when she’s over-tired. We really need to stick to the usual bedtimes.” “Gretchen gets frantic when she’s really hungry, so she can’t wait too long for dinner.” “Gretchen needs some quiet time each day.” “Gretchen really feels the cold, so we can’t be outside for too long.”

So…. Why have I brought up her up?

Well, duh, she’s inspiring. Which makes her kinda awesome.

But also…. as the New Year approaches, I’m debating whether to set any resolutions myself.

Gretchen recently posted 13 Tips for sticking to your resolutions. In short these were:

1. Be specific.

2. Write it down.

3. Review your resolution constantly.

4. Hold yourself accountable.

5. Think big.

6. Think small.

7. Ask for help.

If you have an especially tough time keeping resolutions (this is me btw), if you have a pattern of making and breaking them, try these strategies:

8. Consider making only pleasant resolutions.

9. Consider giving up a resolution.

10. Keep your resolution every day. Weirdly, it’s often easier to do something every day (exercise, post to a blog, deal with the mail, do laundry) than every few days.

11. Set a deadline.

12. Don’t give up if something interferes with your deadline.

13. “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

So I thought about my big ones:

QUIT SMOKING (AGAIN) (PERMANENTLY)

GET PERSONAL FINANCES IN ORDER

I then considered some smaller ones:

WRITE THE OCCASIONAL BLOG POST IN GREEK

DECLUTTER MY CUPBOARDS

GROW HAIR REALLY LONG

WORK OUT IN THE MORNINGS

TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORT TO WORK

SPEND MORE TIME OUTSIDE

GET ANOTHER TATTOO

And then I thought of doing something ridiculously obscure just for the hell of it:

REPLACE EMOTICONS & ACRONYMS WITH WORDS, e.g., ‘I’m frowning because I’m sad’ rather than , or ‘I’m laughing so much right now’ instead of LOL.

But no, I couldn't, they just look so happy together!

But every New Year’s, my resolutions end up being epic fails; with the exception of ‘starting a blog’, which I actually managed to do.

Thrice.

(Without Gretchen, I would have never started.)

Hence why I’m debating having any at all this time around.

I will definitely think about it, after all, the list above is not exclusive; there are plenty of other things I’d like to do as well.

But before I start making any fast and hard decisions, I think it’s important to say good-bye to 2010 first. SIMILARLY, some of the resolutions above are things I would like to do/start BEFORE the New Year. Like:

DECLUTTER MY CUPBOARDS

GET ANOTHER TATTOO

WORK OUT IN THE MORNINGS

Can I do these in two weeks time? Probably…

Will I…? That’s another story. There are other things I need to do which I haven’t included here but are still important to the ‘closure’ process. Those will have to take priority.

Meanwhile, perhaps my resolution should be to MAKE resolutions AFTER the New Year-depending on my needs- which I can actually keep.

After all, Gretchen always says that everybody’s Happiness Project looks different because people, in fact, ARE different.

My happiness project is this blog. It’s the project of a lifetime.

If you are having trouble finding your own ‘brand’ of happiness, I strongly recommend you check out her blog. She will consistently encourage.

You must also read her book!

So what about you? How easily do you keep your New Year’s resolutions? Have you made any for 2011?

---

[1] As she points out very early in her book, she felt incomplete, NOT depressed. Depression is a seriously debilitating emotional disorder, and, as much as I loved her book, it is in no way a ‘quick fix’ for depression. The only surefire way is THERAPY.

 

ADHD is Taking Over the World

Apparently.

(This post might also need editing)

Since I was told I HAD it, suddenly those four letters have been appearing left right and centre. Today my Google Reader ‘surprised’ me with this post on anxiety and ADHD.   It discusses memory lapses and problems with relationships , and how alcoholism and social anxiety can hide the symptoms.

It also makes an interesting connection with smoking:

What’s more, these individuals are also more likely to smoke; smoking is twice as common among people in this population. Researchers at Columbia University are studying smokers who have ADHD symptoms; they are interested in the effects of the drug methylphenidate and whether it might reduce symptoms of ADHD as well as tobacco withdrawal. Research like this may help us better understand the disorder.

All in all, it is a very interesting piece. It recognizes that simply being aware of the symptoms is enough of a treatment (which is exactly how I feel); it even discusses how this disorder can be used as an advantage!

… hyper-focused on tasks that interest them.

HOWEVER.

It later goes on to say that without treatment such individuals are prone to low self esteem which will lead to depression.

And here is the problem. TREATMENT.

I am absolutely in favor of talk therapy. I think disorder or no disorder, everyone needs it to an extent.

However if you read the advice offered on how to pursue treatment, it makes the disorder sound less like a disorder and more like a grave and serious plague that will destroy your entire essence of being unless you take the meds(!).

Lets break it down.

Here are some steps you can take to combat ADHD.  First, consult a mental health professional and ask for a thorough assessment covering everything from attention span to medical exam.

Uh really? THAT thorough? Seems like it would be quite easy to spot an inattentive and/or hyperactive and/or impulsive person, no? Am I missing something?

Also ask about medications such as Ritalin and Adderall.

You mean two ‘medications’ that are as addictive as Class A drugs and just as dangerous? No thanks.

(If you don’t believe me, click on Ritalin. Go on…. click it. I know you want to.)

Different drugs, however, work for different individuals; you may have to try one and then another.

Oh, AND mix them all together into a little cocktail. Who the EFF is giving this advice???

Plus, studying up on ADHD will help as well as building skills like using to-do lists, day planners, and filing systems. You can also divide large tasks into smaller more manageable ones, that way you will not feel so overwhelmed.

Ok. I already do this. But if you’re feeling that overwhelmed isn’t it better to talk to someone about it? So that next time you can tackle it alone without feeling like your world is going to fall apart? And, more importantly, WITHOUT habit-forming chemicals which some faceless pharmaceutical company will use to milk whatever they can out of you in perpetuity?

Perhaps I am being extreme here, especially when the right funding in the right places can lead to thousands of saved lives per day.

My point is that I feel this type of advice is extreme for something that, at least for me, doesn’t make me feel “crazy”*. Depression made me feel “crazy”. This is just… NORMAL for me. The only difference between now and before is that now I have a name for it.

For me, simply knowing has been a bit of a ‘eureka’ moment, where suddenly certain things about myself make more sense.

But other than that… big. deal.

It’s not everything I am. Just a part of me I ‘identified’ in therapy, and not because some quick-fix doctor passed me a prescription.

Who wouldn’t want that kind of peace of mind over an addiction?

I understand that in certain extreme cases it would be necessary; I just don’t think it should be the NORM.  What do you think? Am I being too quick to dismiss medication?

*I have a feeling that I will one day have to stop using this word “irresponsibly”.

 

Changing Educational Paradigms

(via RSA + RSA YouTube)

How to rebuild the education system (slightly relevant to ADHD):

 

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Otherwise known as ADHD aka a neurobehavioural developmental disorder… which frankly sounds extreme and scary; particularly to someone who doesn’t know they have it!

Like me.

If you remember my reflections of Week 1-5, I mentioned my struggle to listen and learn from radio programs. So I took it to therapy.

Me: I’m having difficulty to follow the assigned the radio broadcasts. To concentrate on them, I exert more energy than I have. What should I do?

Her: It sounds to me like you might have an Attention Deficiency  Disorder;.

Me: Just from that? But I’m not impulsive.

Her: It doesn’t matter. How are you with videos?

Me: Fine. Focused.

Her: Ok, so you’re a visual learner. And with videos and books, your eyes have a visual ‘anchor’ to keep you attached long enough for your brain to ‘hear’ or ‘absorb’ the information without you getting distracted. If you don’t have a visual and you just have sound, you can’t stay focused.

Me: But what about music? I listen to music ALL the time. I know EVERY SINGLE WORD to songs I like. It is a purely acoustic activity that GRABS my focus.

Her: Yes, but music goes via the brain to the heart.  Listening to music is an emotional activity, not a rational one. You don’t have to process information to listen to music.

Me: But what about lyrics? I know lyrics.

Her: You know the lyrics because it enables you to accompany the song, not because you have to make sense of it.

So that explains why I have a hard time focusing on talk radio.

And! why I get stressed talking on the phone (something I’ve avoided for I don’t know how long, and now finally understand).

AND… why I am a greedy reader. I read one thing and as I read it, I simply have to read 500 other things relating to it.

But still… ADHD has the word ‘hyperactivity’ in it. And I’m not hyperactive; at best I’m chilled, at worst… lethargic. Plus… if I really do have it, wouldn’t somebody have noticed it by now?

I turned to Wikipedia.

ADHD affects the majority of the general population. There are 3 sub-types:

1. Predominately hyperactive-impulsive: these are the people you see fidgeting, talking non-stop, unable to sit still. They are the ones that can’t do tasks quietly and tend to touch everything in sight. They are the ones that get impatient and tend to blurt out their emotions without restraint and without regard for consequences.
2. Predominantly inattentive: Right. This is me. I’m easily distracted (though I never realised this), and with my work or writing, I make careless mistakes. I am very forgetful. I get bored doing something for more than a few moments unless I find it extremely enjoyable. I have difficulty finishing projects I start. I PROCRASTINATE.  My house used to be extensively ‘cluttered’-less so now.  I lose things. A  lot. Especially if I need them to get something done. I couldn’t care less about household chores.  People tell me that I don’t appear to listen when spoken to, as though I’m lost in a daydream. Ah yes, I day dream. I struggle to follow instructions.
3. Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive: a combination of the above.

So yeah, predominantly inattentive ADHD is pretty much me.

So why didn’t anyone notice before yesterday? Once again, Wikipedia provides the answer:

Children with this subtype are less likely to act out or have difficulties getting along with other children. They may sit quietly, but they are not paying attention to what they are doing. Therefore, the child may be overlooked, and parents and teachers may not notice symptoms of ADHD.

Bingo.

So the facts are below. Thankfully, I’m not a statistic, but it is interesting to note how people with this disorder relate to the world at large.

1.Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), also known as attention deficit disorder (ADD), affects approximately 6% of the population, while less than 2% receive treatment. The rates of ADHD are no higher in the U.S. than in other countries. For example, in China 8.9% of the population is reported to have ADHD. Puerto Rico reports a rate of 9.5%, Japan reports a rate of 7.7%, Germany reports a rate of 8.7%, and India reports a rate of 29%.

2. Out of 100 people with ADHD:

• 35 won’t finish high school.
• 25 will repeat at least one grade.
• 52 are abusing drugs or alcohol.
• 40 have tried alcohol and tobacco at an early age.
• 19 are smoking cigarettes (compared to 10% of the general population).
• 75 have interpersonal problems.
• 20 have set fires.
• 30 have engaged in theft.
• 25 will be expelled from high school for misconduct

3. Numerous studies show that approximately 50% of inmates have been found to have ADHD.

4. People with ADHD have a higher percentage of motor vehicle accidents, speeding tickets, citations for driving without a license, suspended or revoked licenses, medical visits, and emergency room visits.

5. Parents of ADHD children divorce three times more often than the general population.

6. Teenagers with ADHD are seven times more likely to engage in activities that result in suspension from school, six times more likely to have adversarial contacts with the law and five times more likely to spend time in a juvenile justice facility.

7. Teens with ADHD are four times more likely to have a serious auto accident and three times more likely to be cited for speeding.

8. It is estimated that between 40% and 59% of the children diagnosed with ADHD will eventually develop behaviors that meet the criteria for a diagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder.

9. Studies have found that nearly 40% of all cocaine and opiate abusers meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

Read the full article at Suite101: Surprising Facts about ADD / ADHD: What you should know about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder